JIM LL PAINT IT THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE DRIVER

Edward died in 1996 after a severe dismantling, his body sits next to Lenin's in the Kremlin. He left the show when Gere sued him for 'sass-riding' outside his home in Gollopsteriptonville, Iowa. The divorce which followed in 1994 led Edward to drink and 'Misadventurous Spaz Running' which left Edward's boiler severely under-bitched. Edward and Richard had 5 children (3 of which were black and one of which was green (see Gere-Percy Scandal) and one of which fell out of a tree and broke its funnel, leaving it to suffocate). Gere (born 1643) wooed Edward with a Ferrari which Edward gave to Thomas who wrote it off during a 14 hour police chase. Mistaken for the role in the X-Files as the bloke agent (not the one that looks like a man the real one), Richard Gere's career soared, and eventually met Edward at a Shaft convention in 1922. The Obese Controller now buys a couple of new engines now and then, and always keeps an engine to paint blue,to ensure the young ones that Thomas lives on.Įdward (The Blue Engine) And His Relationship With Richard Gere By the year 2004,most engines were scrapped after overdoses. Unfortunately,order on the Island collapsed, and accident rates went up. James,Percy and all the puffers quit smoking and tried Thomas' secret stuff. The other engines discovered his collection of crack. The Railway Inspector showing his engine-torture devices.Įven after Thomas was scrapped, all was not well. Over the next 100000 years, the engines worked their buffers off,never meeting the technologic advances of the future as They Deliver Food Across the Isle of Sod for thee Obesse Controller. The idea of Communism was originally implimented, but Gordon sought for higher control, which led to Lusts for Power from several other engines. Now, with their disturbingly happy faces, the engines puff across the Isle of Sod, making products to get their controller rich off of. He went into a scrapyard and used voodoo chants to have souls possess the ruined engines. In circa 200,000 BCE, a stumpy fat man searched for ways to make money. In the year 2000 the traditional 'Trad' story was upgraded so that the whole world would not have to think and could be be bling and hip. The Story Thomas and the Isle of Sod(or) He hires The Railway Inspector to watch the steamers while he eats, which is 60-percent of each day. He refuses to give the engines water or coal-or coa-rrr as he calls it-unless they work all day long. 'First to hit the fat lard gets to pull the Express!'įinally, we have Chairman Mao, the Obese Controller.

Chinese brainwashing from The Railway Chairman has them thinking work is a privilege. He kills anyone in his way, including his Obese Controller.ĭespite giving everyone frozen Satanic stares, Thomas and His Friends still run regularly. The Scarily faced Thomas the Tank Engine patrols his stretch of line screaming in his Ringo Starr Voice at anyone attempting to cross at a point which isn't a signal. Only then will it be allowed back on the main line to be a Really Useful Engine again.

JIM LL PAINT IT THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE DRIVER

When Thomas hits the buffers, instead of the driver being suspended on full pay, pending a full enquiry and drug-test results, a short fat man in a top hat will talk sternly to the locomotive whilst standing on an orange box and will say 'Thomas, you have caused confusion and delay!' The engine will be taken out of service and made to shunt trucks until it is sorry. Thomas The Tank Engine is the most famous fictional blue talking steam engine in the world, and is more popular than even the Flying Scotsman, which, as every child knows, doesn't have a face, doesn't talk, and never falls down black holes in amusing ways. Thomas the Tank Engine is an anthropomorphic tank engine which often operates on the uncyclopedia railway, driving his adoring fans and passengers into misinformation and lies.

Jim ll paint it thomas the tank engine